Friday, October 06, 2006

I Pity The Fool

Holy shnikeys, did you read today's Simmons column? He really, really should have never agreed to let his wife have her own little section of his football column each week. If you don't know the background on this, they're each picking winners against the spread each week and at the end of the year, we get to see who did better. But she wouldn't do it unless he gave her a little part of the column where she could write anything she wants without him changing it. Big mistake, Billy.

Her gripe this week is about his fantasy baseball team. In it she says his pal Hench calls all the time and leaves messages for him without saying who is on the phone. Then she tells us this little gem:

"I made Bill get a second phone line just for Hench's calls -- they call it the "Bat Phone." I can't believe I married someone who needed a second phone line to talk about a fake baseball team."

Hey Billy, know how I know you're gay? You got a goddamn second phone line just for your friend and called it the "Bat Phone"!

Message to the Sports Gal, in the words of Clubber Lang (see how I pick one of Simmons' favorite movies to select a quote from? Nice, huh?):

Hey, Woman. Hey, Woman! Listen here. Since your old man ain't got no heart, maybe you like to see a real man. I bet you stay up late every night dreamin' you had a real man, don't ya? I'll tell you what. Bring your pretty little self over to my apartment tonight, and I'll show you a real man.


Blogger Anonymous Assclown said...

You know how I know YOU'RE gay? Because you have a blog dedicated to a gay guy.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

You know how I know YOU'RE gay? You just commented on an article about a gay guy on a site dedicated to a gay guy!

P.S. - it's not only dedicated to him.

2:55 PM  

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